Just let it Happen

9560 sg

Everyone has bad days but for me when it comes to waking up on the wrong side of the bed I tend to handle it really poorly, and I mean really poorly. I’m mad at everything and everyone and it’s always best just to avoid me to. But there’s one person who doesn’t hide from me and that would be my boyfriend.

If I wake up in a bad mood and stay in a bad mood I get really snippy and I give up on any hope on what I had for the day and sit on my computer. Even if it’s only 2 o’clock in the afternoon my mind decides that the day can’t be fixed. Thankfully I managed to land someone who is a lot more optimistic and hates seeing me so sad and gives it his everything to help me fix it. I love him.

Yesterday I woke up sad and grouchy and after having lied in bed for an hour, eaten, and showered for half an hour I still didn’t feel any better and I gave up on the day at only 1 in the afternoon. After a lot of refusing (and slight annoyance at slightly matching), my boyfriend finally managed to convince me to go outside and walk with him. No need of destination, who cares if it rains, and fuck the time.

Normally I have a hard time with spontaneity and not knowing where I’m going but I’m slowly opening up to the idea of it. Looking back on days like yesterday I realize how caught up I am in needing things to be orderly and planned when details aren’t always necessary. Sometimes the unplanned can be a lot more fulfilling than the planned.

9562 sg

In the end I did feel better and in the end it did rain but I was okay with that. We had walked to the local mall, ate noms, bought Laura Secord chocolate, and just wandered!

On the way back we did get caught in the rain with no umbrella and at first I started feeling miserable about it. I started worrying about how much he hates wet socks, and how I had a white shirt on, and how my hair had JUST finished drying. Then he looked at me smiling while shaking his head and said “just let it happen”. I thought for a moment, and then I did. I just. Let. It. Happen. I let the rain soak through my hair and my clothes and it felt so goddamn good.

I ran out into the open space under the rain and let the world happen. Behind me I could hear him laughing and calling me silly and I laughed with him. In the pouring rain I let the world happen. I loved how much we accidentally matched and I laughed at how we tried so hard to beat the rain only to end up getting caught in it.

What I think I’m trying to say is that when the world has got you down you just have to let it happen. You can plan all you want but sometimes you get caught in the rain without an umbrella and there’s nothing you can do except get rained on.

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